Mr. Prime Minister,
I'm writing this letter to express the extreme anguish inflicted upon me by the movie "3 Idiots". The movie has hurt my religious sentiments and those of many others. I would request that you ban the said movie immediately.
The movie caricatures a certain college of engineering. It criticizes the education system in the country. In doing so, it has hurt the sentiments of millions of pedagogicians over the world, and in India. If you are not aware, pedagogism is a flourishing religion in India, which worships any form of education.
Moreover, the movie pokes fun of Rastogi because he believes in the power of rings. This, Mr. Prime Minister hurts the feelings of the followers of millions of "Baba"s, not necessarily political. It also hurts the religious feelings of the Tolkeinians in India, who venerate the rings and search for the One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.
The movie also hurts the feelings of the Bhagatians, who worship C Bhagat. The movie is a shameless copy of his hard work, and is not faithful to his idea. In fact, the movie malevolently twists the words of Bhagat to mean something else, and tells Bhagatians to "SHUT UP!" This malevolent twisting of the verses of a God to those of Satan is blasphemy. It denies the essential truth of Bhagatianism, which is that Bhagat is never wrong.
The movie also shows extreme insensitivity towards those who commit suicide. The movie shows Rastogi jump from a three storey building, and survive to tell the tale. It promotes suicide as a method of self-discovery. Mr. Prime Minister, when more people die from autoerotic asphyxiation than accidental gun shots which no one seems to remember, any entity promoting suicide as a means of self-discovery is an insult to the religious beliefs of the vitatians.
Moreover, Mr. Prime Minister, the movie is nothing but an insult to all engineering students in the country. The movie shows engineering students with a life, having girl-friends who happen to be hot, and also the daughters of the director of the engineering institute. This movie promotes the erroneous belief that once guys get into engineering colleges, they will have a life. It causes an explosion in our already overstuffed engineering colleges, as more and more people flock to the IITs (A certain minister in your cabinet has now decreed all engineering colleges to be IITs, so I can generalise). The movie hurts the sentiments of the IITians.
Mr. Prime Minister, all the groups whose feelings have been hurt are individually in a minority in India (I don't care about their combined numbers). I request you to call upon all your wisdom (and you will need all of it) to treat this petition in the right sense, and ban the movie "3 Idiots".
Please show your support for this petition by tweeting this post, liking it on Facebook, +1ing it, or leave a comment below; if you support such frivolous petitions. :P